Sunday, October 26, 2008

Dormitory Life

Okay. It’s vacation. Finally. (Actually, it has been roughly two weeks since I went home from the dormitory and had my last exam, but I don’t know. I just feel like blogging today, today when I have two weeks left for myself. I feel like I’ve totally wasted my yester weeks.) It is vacation and I think, my blog spot deserves a little account of what first year and first semester of college made me feel (or how it changed me if you prefer).

I miss school. I miss it a lot. I miss how I used to be. I was really busy during those times, especially the remarkable hell week when I went to school with all those deadly exams waiting to put an end to my dream. It was done, the first semester… and here is a partial list of how I changed (without intentions of changing and unnoticing how it did happen). First on the list is the dormitory life:

I became (just a bit) responsible. Maybe it’s related to independence. Living apart from my parents meant a lot for me. There is no mother to take care of my clothes, breakfast and my mess. There is no father to protect me from those bad guys my mom warned me about. There is no sister to cheer me up whenever I feel really down (which happens most of the times). I was all by myself. No one to wake me up except the noisy alarm clock and no one to remind me to take my vitamins. Others may see this as a chance to do whatever they want. It is, in fact, but I decided to not ruin my life and do what I am expected to do: to be perfectly behaved. At first, it really made me scared because I was used to having my family around but then, this is a special chapter of my life, something to make a big leap between being a baby and a grown-up. After all, I am seventeen and living alone must be a little piece of cake. After some months, I began accepting how things are different. I decided to just watch the television whenever I am bored. I missed the people whom I see everyday and how I worry about nothing when I am with them. But I guess, a grain of sacrifice is required in order to be who I really I want to be. There were sleepless nights, I admit, the kind which makes my pillows wet from my tears. I was home sick. I was really longing for support whenever I am hopeless about grades and stuffs. Good thing that I got to know people whom I considered friends as of today. That was very important because I need that sweet urge to make me go on and be reminded that though my life was beginning to be unexplainably boring, still, someone cares and sees all of my effort. I need it, so much. I need that engaging inspiration to make me excited of waking up and living life and not just silently wishing and praying that tomorrow is always a Friday. After that realization, I began caring for myself more. I mean, I started to sleep just on time and waking up early to make myself a cup of milk and oatmeal. I started to give blissful moments for myself. I started to fight melancholy. I went to groceries occasionally and buy foods for myself and once in a while, treat and indulge myself with expensive clothes and foods. I still miss my family back then yet I resulted in convincing myself to hang in because it’s almost Friday… and Friday is my refuge. I go home every Friday to at least make my family know that I am okay (alive and kicking). I began doing things for myself, too. I wash and iron my clothes (which my mom claims as the most improved part of me). I study hard and devote my time reading books (which I don’t normally do so I consider my best improvement). I became more matured in dealing with things because I knew and understood that there is more to life than sweetness and laughter.

It has been five months and it’s amazing that those five months contributed so much to my well-being. It’s remarkable that I was just months older but it seems like it is a big leap for me, like college and dormitory life changed me as being someone who knows nothing but to have fun. Two weeks from now, vacation is done and I’ll be back to my dormitory. Away from home again and all by myself again. I guess it's goodbye to being Ms. Slacker and welcome back to Ms. Independent.

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