Sunday, November 23, 2008

Traffic Thoughts

I guess nothing is much more frustrating than an extreme traffic at the start of the day. Every morning, I suffer. Every morning, I leave the dormitory at about six o’ clock in the morning for my seven o’ clock Math classes. Without traffic, the travel usually takes me about fifteen minutes but because there is, even the one hour span of time is lacking. I still come to class late (about ten minutes past seven). It’s not late if you will use the university rule which allows fifteen minutes of grace period but since the subject is Math, I cannot afford to not hear the start of the lesson. I can’t miss a thing because it will cause me more frustrations and not to mention the fears I still have inside me about failing the subject and delaying my graduation.

I know the value of time. In fact, I seldom come to class or gatherings or meetings late. When it happens, I am still the first person to arrive so no one actually treats me as someone who’s not on time. Call me excited but it just so happen that I don’t want to be waited by people who have other activities aside from meeting me in their appointments. I wish that other people have that kind of mentality, too, but yeah, we’re different people with different mentalities.

I saw morning traffic as a valid excuse in my tardiness but I chose not to choose it. Whenever I am late in my Math class, I am always regretful because I know that if I’ll just leave the dormitory at five thirty, then I don’t have any problem. The conflict arises in the dormitory. A person is scheduled to wake up and take a bath at five in the morning. Another is scheduled to five fifteen and I am bound to the five thirty. I have no choice, especially that they are already professionals and much older than I am. After I take bath (which is about five forty-five in the morning), I have to dress up and arrange myself and be the girl he truly deserves. I skip breakfasts. It happened to be that we are allowed to eat during our classes. If not, then I’ll still eat without them knowing. I have my own rules (laughs). After the suffocating heat in the traffic and its inch-by-inch motion, I’ll reach the university at about five minutes before seven. It’s not that easy, especially that while I was on the jeepney, other people will go tsktsk-ing and it causes me to be upset, too. It’s contagious. Others will bother themselves listening to music and some act like they don’t care at all. Some people smile whenever they see me and that makes me want to walk. Just walk and forget about waiting in that cursed vehicle. During morning traffic, I never appreciate street lights. For me, it’s just something that blinks endlessly, like a ticking bomb which will explode anytime from now. It’s weird that I don’t see their splendor during sunup traffic jams. Come to think of this: yes, I arrive at the university not yet late but hey, reaching Math Building with my feet and speed usually takes me ten to fifteen minutes. I’ll still be late no matter how I struggle. I’ll still be late even though I tried everything not to be. I never wanted to explain to people why I came tardy. It’s not that they don’t understand but because I do believe that explanations are delivered by people who have points and valid reasons but I don’t have any. I cannot always explicate and use traffic as my alibi. It’s my fault and I acknowledge it.

A cup of annoyance, a spoonful of rush, a kilo of hatred, a pinch of helplessness and a tablespoon of regrets all mixed in a bowl of frustrations and seasoned by irritation and despair: this is what bitter traffic’s ingredients are.


saveyoursoul said...

I am horrible about being patient in traffic-- and lets not even talk about parking on our campus.

BOO math.

Rhaingel said...

haha! Nothing is much more frustrating than traffic jams. Oh, wait, there is! It's traffic jams plus a very important appointment you shouldn't miss.

OMG. Math. What is that? haha. :))