Thursday, December 18, 2008

2008 Chapter 1

Finally, I am envisioning the end of the year. Somehow, I am now feeling that the Christmas season is a week from now and after a week, 2009 is coming. Maybe because it is my vacation and idle times allow me to discover something in my self. This year is different. For the first time, I felt that the coming year is not a beginning and not an ending, as well. It’s not a prologue and not a finale. For me, this is just a chapter in my life with new characters and experiences. This marks new opportunities but not an eye-opener or any of the like. Last year, I remember clearly that I made a lot of resolutions, never realizing that I can always correct my wrongdoings anytime. For this year, I have been always reminiscing about what happened and what I’ve learned. It’s very vital. I mean, my past years will be nothing but garbage if I just passed on it and did not pick up those things that will give me a better outlook for tomorrow. Today I am slightly looking backwards.

What I’ve learned the most? Amidst the adversity, just smile. It actually helps you to recover faster from what happened. It makes you increase the confidence you have in yourself and somehow assures you that everything will simply end up alright. It heals all wounds no matter how deep it may seem. It makes people wonder what you are up to. It makes them fall for you. It’s quite amazing that a single smile lifts spirits up and the best part about my year 2008 is that despite of all the experiences I underwent, I still ended up smiling. I may have extremely bad days and oh-I-like-him-but-I-get-dumped days but the bottom line is that after the day is over, everyone forgets about your shortcomings and the embarrassments that you gain and no one actually cares if you’re miserable so you better smile. I may have cried endlessly and prolonged my agony in dealing with the problems I encountered but still, the smiling started my healing.

I realized that people can never wound your ego unless you allow them to. There is always an option and to say that we got no choice is an understatement. We always have it no matter how hard the situation seems to be. If we don’t care for others then we don’t actually care to what they say. It doesn’t matter and so we will never find ourselves hurt whenever they say or do something against us. When we find ourselves hurt because of others, then we chose to remain in that condition. We chose to pay attention and care. It is still called and considered as "choice".

Breathe. My 2008 is full of series of ups and downs and I do believe that being a negative type of person, I tend to spend more notice in those down moments. I am a girl and I usually make such a big deal out of petty frustrations. I realized that the only thing I can do whenever dissatisfaction sinks in is to breathe and to convince myself that it’ll be fine and that I have to appear fine in front of the people who cannot see me go crazy. I realized that breathing is very important and I am bringing it with me in my 2009.

I can, again, go on with my list but then, I suppose that these are the things that made and changed me to be the standing person I am right now. As they usually say, changes are the only permanent thing in this world but I also believe that these changes are put to empower our personalities, that it is to make and not to break us. No hard feelings towards 2008. It surely is a great year, full of unexpected twists and turns and made me grow a lot as a person. I guess, the bitterness faded already and so I am very much ready to welcome my 2009 with love in my heart.


b luis grey said...

It's not over yet. We've got Christmas and the mania that comes with it. The best part however, is the end of the year/ New Year's Party! That's when we can say this chapter has ended and the new has begun. The perfect segway. Wouldn't you say?

Rhaingel said...

Yes. Indeed, but I am feeling it now. I don't know why but I am starting to realize the things I've learned for the past months. It's not even Christmas yet I am so much excited about the New Year. :))

The Rambler said...

thanks so much for the award! I finally did a post thanking you properly :)

Rhaingel said...

I'll be checking it soon. You're so much welcome for the award and I am thanking you in advance for your post. *hugs&&kisses*

Braja said...

Nice post...thanks for dropping in on mine...hope to see you again :)

Rhaingel said...

You're welcome. Thanks, too, for dropping by mine and for commenting. :D