Saturday, December 06, 2008

Fly Me to The Moon

Fly me to the moon and never care about the storm. Fly me to the moon and I don’t care if it’s quite far. Because in there, it will just be me and my playful shadow casting itself everywhere. It’s empty there… maybe a lot emptier than how I am feeling inside but at least, in the moon, I’ll find enough reasons for my emptiness and not like today that I cannot justify all my emotions. In there, I will be concerned only about the illuminating light I am giving the world every nighttime. There is no Math there and no wishing that I am someone else. Fly me there so no one will hear my painful sobs and desperate sighs. Fly me there so that I will sing to the world all the lyrics of the songs that I used to sing quietly, usually in my melancholy but in there, I will be letting it out. In the moon, I’ll walk endlessly, clearing my mind of the thought about the land of agony, where things meet and separate, and finally lying there, because of the exhaustion and boredom perhaps, sleeping then suddenly waking up because I thought that I heard my alarm clock. I’ll be shouting my name over and over again and feel the echo in that empty space. Fly me there so that I can never experience rains again and the feeling of remembering things whenever it pours. Fly me there so that I’ll never cause other people to be disappointed and sad, so that they will always be glad.

Fly me to the moon and I’ll watch the sun rise and set while never knowing what day it is, never concerned about how old I am. Fly me there and forget about my existence for I am living the rest of my life in that spot, sprinkling stars in the sky and making them fall when someone is wishing and painting rainbow after the rain so that people will be happy. Fly me there and allow me to bring a pen, a paper, a piano and your picture. I’ll still be writing there and will make letters for you only to be carried by the wind. I will practice playing your favorite song so that you’ll hear it every night but still full of hold notes and imperfect rhythm. Fly me there so that every new moon, I will be disappearing with my new home and wish that I’ll never show up again, that I am forever gone. Fly me to that place where I can pour out all of my emotions, no hindrances at all. Fly me there so that I don’t need to hide all my fears and pain and I won’t have to practice my smile. Fly me there and let me fix my impaired self. Fly me to the moon and unchain my heart that’s holding on to Earth. Teach me a lesson of living alone, no friends to comfort me during loneliness and no family to care if I am sick.

Fly me to the moon and leave me there, and do everything that can make you happy. I will just be there, near heaven’s gate, whispering to God from time to time that he will keep you safe wherever you will go; that you will have the best things that life has to offer. Fly me there so that I won’t be making distractions in your studies and concentration, never giving you even a single problem at all. Fly me there so that no one will be upset whenever you want to spend your time with others, so that no one with no right at all will be jealous. Fly me there and let me be selfish all by myself. Fly me there and let me gain the understanding I am lacking.

Fly me to the moon but let me be your only angel still. Because it is in solitude that I get to realize all the mistakes I’ve committed and all the things I have failed to do. Fly me to the moon and have me back to Earth after hearing your favorite song played perfectly by me, no more wrong notes and sustained chords. By that time, I must be contented with my life.


Anonymous said...

This was a nice essay. I enjoyed reading it. It seems you have quite a literary talent! Keep it up, and don't worry so much about Math. You will get through...

(I tried to use the Wordpress thing to 'identify' myself and leave this comment but I couldn't get it to work - sorry) I am 'Rabieswarrior' and my blog is at Ingats.

Rhaingel said...

Thank you so much for dropping by! I am glad that you enjoyed it. Well, it was a product of melancholy and I bet I won't be able to make another one like that because I don't have the same feeling. About math? hmm.. I am setting it aside for my Christmas vacation.

Hello Rabieswarrior! I'll be dropping by your blog later. Thanks again! Ingats. :)