Saturday, February 07, 2009

Back to the Line

I am back on the blog-o-sphere, finally! I was gone for sometime and I have three reasons I see as valid for those. First, I was miserable. I see everyday as a stair of frustrations and the problem was that I see writing as a therapy, pouring everything in it, never concerned about the people who are going to read those. I had the idea that I’ll be making some effect but then I still pursued my plans of writing and resulted in devastating other people’s day. I am sorry if you were one of those who had a good day but later on became miserable because of what you’ve read. If you were kind of bothered or any of the like, I really am sorry. I chose to sort things out of my mind and not blog about everything. Second, I was very busy. Exams here and exams there, exams everywhere. Deadlines of projects and reports all seemed to engulf me wholly. I was concerned about my grades too and my stay on my university and so I finished everything first. After all, those were really what I should be doing as a student. Third, a wayward virus swallowed my program. My laptop was impaired for four days and I just had it repaired a while ago.

I have all things in mind. The truth is that, I want to write all of those thoughts and topics that I am thinking about yet I know not how to start those. Now I know that no matter how great the English language is, some things and feelings are still too great to write about. No words can ever describe how happy I am right now. Perhaps because they can never be contained inside those symbols we later on termed as alphabet. I know that I beat the bush a lot. Maybe I’ll be writing everything soon, when I already grasp the words which are near to what I really want to say and describe. For now, I will be dealing about how I have been lately. I posted a lot under that “In solitude” label. I just can’t help it. I was really upset and disappointed and you all read about that. The next thing I knew was that I once again became the happiest person alive. Each breath I took was the realization that I have myriad of things and people to be thankful for.

Now, everything seems to make sense. The happiness I have right now won’t be the same if I did not undergo those down points. They say that if it rains, it pours but what was left for us to figure out was after it rained, the rainbow is there to remind us that the colorful arc won’t be that beautiful if it didn’t rain first. “Life is a cycle,” I always know about that but sometimes I find it hard to believe. After achieving perfect happiness, all the sadness will seem to be worth-dealing with. I know that it might happen again. I will surely be sad again sometime but I fear it not for I know, too that later on, that sadness will ripen itself and will become a little sweet ripe fruit.

I am back to my line… the line that reminds me of being straight to my direction… the line that takes me back again to reality of where I am heading and the things that I shouldn’t carry with me to my destination. Perhaps, hard feelings and angst are some of those. I should leave it all behind, just like when you leave someone behind the door, expecting them to try to make you stay but you know that it was the best for the both of you. Now that I am back in the line, I am back to the habitual beautiful things like the blogland and writing life. I am back to seeing the beauty of life one more. :)

2 comments:

Rena said...

Hey, this is your blog and you have every right to write about what you choose. I enjoy reading regardless of your moods or situations. You write beautifully! I hope you're feeling better now and that foot is healing up. :)

Rhaingel said...

@rena:

Hi! Thanks for dropping by again! Thanks for reading whatever my mood is. Thanks for bearing with all my immaturities. My foot is now alright and so is me. :)