Saturday, March 07, 2009

A Cure for Losers

I was very disappointed yesterday. I had a very good start of the day but the end quite bothered me. This is something associated with my GO AHEAD, TALK ABOUT ME POST and really, it saddened my day. It made me affected and soul-searched myself.

(But I am okay now. I am laughing and I just can’t stop. Poor people! Losers forever. I just cannot believe that this sort of immaturity still happens in college. I thought that I am dealing with these when I graduated from high school. *devil laugh*)

When you judge a person as how you see her is one thing but to discuss it with somebody else and to talk about it at her back is another. I was over the “judging thing”. In fact, I laugh upon remembering, thinking that bitterness and jealousy caused it all. People advised me that instead of having bad feelings towards her, I should pity her for jealousy is such a painful thing that is almost fatal. I experienced jealousy and so I know how it hurts. I was thinking about her and so I gave in some considerations. I tried to understand. I tried to just ignore. After all, I don’t lose anything. To know that I was stabbed in my back is below the belt. It makes me feel small, yes, but I say that they will never find themselves big when they let others appear small. There is no contentment in that. I got the point that I know myself better than they know me but to see something against you in your usual surfing of the net is something that can break my day. It pissed me more because I tried to be good though I am Little Miss Attitude. I tried to ignore what I heard about and just go on with my life, giving them more things to talk about. I like to tell that the name they are calling me is non-sense. I mean “feeling close” is a compliment to my amicability. It actually shouts about what they don’t have. I am not ashamed of being too friendly and trying my best to be close to everybody. Without it, I won’t meet my best friends and other people who made a difference in my life. Is there something wrong with that? If there is, back-stabbing is still worse.

However, I really believe that their talent in making people hate life is rusty. I can actually do better than that but I don’t think they deserve some of my effort, not even a bit of it. I don’t push myself to people who don’t like me. Hell! I have lots of friends and without those haters, my life will still be happy and will still be complete. Actually, they don’t matter and I believe that it will always be that way. To conclude that I am actually doing everything to make them my friends is a big lie. Don’t assume that much, losers.

This is not the right thing to do, yes. A properly-behaved lady should just be shutting up, dealing with other more sensible things and not doing her little reply on the blog she owns but I need to unleash this hate. I need to express what I felt after finding out everything. I need to tell the world that I was hurt after I read those slur pertaining to me. I am still a person. I might have done wrong turns in my life but I don’t think I deserve those insults I’ve read. There are people whom I've hurt a lot. There are people whom I took for granted but I never heard them talk about me like that. I never heard their unfair judgments even though they have the right to tell me those things. They never stabbed me in my back. Whenever they have hard feelings on me, they tell me right away. They confront me because they know that back-stabbing is for losers and uneducated. I need to unleash the unfairness I felt. I need to snap back and tell them that the person they are talking about actually knows about their sordid attitude. Somehow, this is a lot better than discussing the issue to someone else and assigning terms and names to her, to them.

BTW, thanks for making me famous and oh, a cure for losers doesn't exists. :D

2 comments:

Rena said...

I'm not sure what happened here, but I just wanted to say good for you for moving on. (((HUGS)))

Rhaingel said...

@RENA:

I still feel bad, somehow, but I cannot help but move on. I don't want to remain losers like them. I decided not to write about what truly happened in this post because if I did, I'll have similarities with them and of course, I don't want that. Though I still have the hate, I don't want them to feel what I felt after reading their insults about me. I think that that's enough. I won't do vengeance or any of the like. This post is just am issue of the heart. I just needed to let it out. Thank you for bearing with me.