Wednesday, April 08, 2009

Random Silly Stuff

April 9, 2009
Dear Friend,

Maybe I still got the “Perks of being a Wallflower” hang-over that’s why I am writing this way. I’ve just finished it this morning and unlike others books which I cried about, it is nice to hear the character narrating what he sees and what he experiences. It is like listening to the secrets of the world while messing with my own life. Anyway, I love the book and I felt that Charlie was actually talking to me. I am older than him and it’s nice to hear stories of people who had not same but similar experiences as yours. Only, they have it a lot worse. I imagined myself back when I was still in high school… and maybe it’s sad that those were all memories. Maybe it is NOT sad at all. Hmmm… I cannot consider myself as a wallflower. Analyzing how my life has been, I always stay on the dance floor and hear people talk about me. Not doing anything, they talk about me. So I might as well give them something to talk about. I am not the kind which sees everything and understands it all and keeps quiet. I see things and cannot understand them at a glance.

Anyway, I think I have to clarify that I am not trying to answer Charlie here. I am not trying to make “The Perks of Being a Wallflower Reply”. I am also not trying to make my own version of the book. It was just too great to be imitated. I just thought that it really feels good to know that someone out there is hearing my stories and judging me according to what they know as right and how I delivered stories in a manner that is very opinionated, and that is already given. This is my blog and this is my story.

Today marks the official start of my five-day vacation. You might say that it is too short but it’s better to have it than have none. It’s amazing that I still see the positive side of things though my life is storming lately, very unstable and very emotional. I don’t know if it’s because of the book but I bet it’s not. It’s personal: myself and I, just as how Fergie sings it. I am also not sure if it’s because of the moon’s luminosity yester night and this night but I think, it has nothing to do with this. I am blaming other things. The truth is that I am just disappointed and you’re right if you are going to tell me that disappointments root from expectations, big expectations, so better to have none at all... but I am a believer, a dreamer and someone who puts highest hopes on something. I cannot change the way I already am.

It is really not the fault of anyone but me so better not worry and that’s the main reason why I decided to hibernate or just keep myself off for the next few days/weeks/months. I am not trying to prove that no man is an island is wrong. I am just trying to protect others from my drama stuff that is why I am temporarily detaching myself from the world. I think once in a while, a person has to do it in order to know his/her self more, to work on his/her maturity and be a better person after all the soul-searching. Nevertheless, I decided to keep in touch with my blog and read some other pocketbooks while I am making my cell phone resting for a while. Maybe after years of abusing it, it is now her turn to rest and find the peace I am looking for myself.

Love always,
Rhaingel

2 comments:

lucas said...

this post strangely reminded me of the movie "23" starring jim carrey..hmmm...

that's one chrarteristic of a good book-- it's ability to suck you into its pages and see yourself in the story... :)

Rhaingel said...

@LUCAS:

Wow! You have watched and read a lot of books already. I admire you for that. That is a great character of a writer.

Right now, I am super stuck with the book. I am done with it but I feel like my life is in between its pages. Argh!

Anyway, I would lke to thank you for all your support :)