Monday, April 13, 2009

Summer Sacrifices

April 13, 2009
Dear Friend,

Today is the last day of my vacation. Tomorrow, I’ll wake up at four-thirty in the morning and prepare myself for the first day of summer classes. I haven’t opened my Math book since the class has ended. I suppose that I’ll be doing that later. That’s what I’ve planned.

Somehow, I feel like I haven’t reached the point where I’ll be really enthusiastic about the subject and what I am going to do with this summer season. It seems not a special one in any way. It hasn’t sunk in to me yet. The thing is I am tired of studying during vacations and to tell you honestly, since I was incoming grade 6 (and that was six years ago), I haven’t had a formal summer vacation where I will have the chance to rest completely. When I was incoming grade 6, my dad said that I should review for my application for high school and I did. I didn’t have a choice, did I? I passed the exam and I went on to finish my elementary years. When I was incoming freshman high school, my dad realized that he wanted me to try to this university and check whether I can pass or not this phenomenal high school exam. I did but he did not enroll me in there. He enrolled me to an exclusive school for girls, which happened to be my alma mater. When I was about to be a sophomore high school, he said that I should try for a better scholarship and that meant that I have to review again. I did review and did pass the exam and did transfer school. When I was about to be a junior high school, my mom is not happy with the school I am currently enrolled in so she was thinking about enrolling me back to the school I was originally in but I have to pass this exam and that means reviewing again. I don’t want to disappoint her but after thinking about what shall happen to me, they decided to not transfer me anymore. Too bad, I already reviewed for it. When I was an incoming senior high school, I reviewed because I wanted to pass UPCAT, the examination that will determine the future of an aspirant UP student. It was not an easy exam and I tell you, if ever I passed it, it was really because of hard work and persistence and not about pure luck. I remember doing everything for it that I spent most of the times reading Biology books (which I really hate and I consider the weakest part of my education) and solving Math problems. I passed the UPCAT and it was the most satisfying exam I took. I also thought that it was the end of my kill-joy summer vacations but it wasn’t. When I was about to enroll myself to my first year in college, my mom confessed that sending me to Quezon City to study is not as easy as it sounds and I got her point. She wants me to apply for a scholarship and I did. I did review for it again, thinking that that was for my mother and for all her sacrifices of sending me to school and I did pass that exam, making me happy not for myself but for the lessened burden of my mom. Now that I am about to enter the second year of college, I am going to take Math summer classes. Lousy, boring and uninteresting but I am trying to set my mood for tomorrow and for the rest of the summer season and ignore all the tiredness that I acquired over the past years. That sounds and seems difficult but I am trying to make things better than how I expect them to be. Maybe I can find some time realizing that at least, all the reviews and summer sacrifices I made produced something satisfying. Maybe it’s better off that way. It’s just that this summer doesn’t sound fun and this “third” semester is a lot different from the other semesters I experienced. (sigh) I need a gallon of optimism.

Love always,
Rhaingel

2 comments:

lucas said...

wow...i can't imagine spending my summers reviewing. but i guess its for your own good.

Summer Math Class? i have to agree with you. it's boring and really tough (for my mind at least). but i guess the key here is to motivate yourself and try to make it fun. pano naman kaya noh? hehe!
i wish you well, rhaingel :)

Rhaingel said...

@LUCAS:

I guess so. I hope that I will still be able to see the positive side of spending summer in between books.

I wonder if you had summer Math classes before? It wasn't as boring as I expected it to be which is a good thing. I have been motivating myself and so far, it's working. Maraming salamat, Lucas! :D