Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Today's Jist

May 26, 2009
Dear Friend,

Today was argh, exhausting but nevertheless, thoughts of him made me stay on my track. I woke up at eleven and I was determined to finish The Time Traveler’s Wife today. I know that I was just on page 132 a while ago but I really thought I can finish it this whole day if undisturbed. While I was on page 139, my mom told me to go to Quezon City and claim her mobile phone. It’s an hour and a half away from home and I really don’t want to go there now because I have a limited time to rest. My mom’s phone was broken and was sent to Sony Ericson’s shop for repair. I really was not on the mood to go out but my mom was too eager and I can understand her for it has been two month since she last held her cell phone. If I were in her case, I’ll be more than excited.

So I went to Quezon City alone. The travel gave me a very uncomfortable feeling that I wanted to take a bath again or I wanted to swim or I just wanted to lie down and rest. It was boring and quite lonely. Maybe because as I woke up, I prepared myself for reading and resting. I have two hundred and eighteen pages to go (and that is where I use my Math) and that errand was technically out of my schedule. As I entered the store, I got a number and hated the queue of people. The shop was too small and cannot accommodate all of their customers, very suffocating. They should be buying or renting a bigger place. I realized that I really was growing impatient so to save my self and the world from further damage, I left the store and went to Dairy Queen. I ordered Blizzard because I just notice that when I have an ice cream, I always feel happy and light, like I was away from the chaos of the world. If it’s a bad day, the ice cream does the cheering up process. Well, as I was saying, the Blizzard was served upside-down so I did not had it for free. I purchased it and then went back to the queue of people. Somehow, I felt lighter and hungrier. So after claiming the phone, I decided to buy some brownie then pizza then shake then soup then mash potato. In short, I pigged out and that’s a very happy way to cheer up. I also went to the bookstore and bought a planner for my upcoming academic year. Hey, did I already mention that I am excited? Anyway, after realizing that my stomach was oh-so-full and my feet are oh-so-tired, I decided to go home. After all, today is Mommy Odek’s last burial night and I hate to realize that tomorrow, there will be no trace of her but memories residing in our hearts. I know that she’s happy somewhere and her sons are also happy now. I mean, they have accepted what happened whole-heartedly but for me, deep inside, I am wishing for longer times spent with her. I get sad each time I open my closet and see the gowns she sewed for me and how the next gowns I am going to use are not anymore her masterpieces. I get sad each time I realize that she gives me food whenever I don’t like the food cooked by my own mom. I get sad each time I realize that she’s dead, that I can’t do anything about it except buy some Blizzard to make me feel lighter.

Dear friend, tomorrow is her funeral and she’ll be buried six feet underground and that’s final... not to mention that it's very far. I cannot dig her out and talk to her. Dear friend, I am not familiar with this very uncomfortable feeling. I don’t know what to say or do tomorrow. I don’t know how to sleep for this night.

Love always,

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