Monday, August 10, 2009

What's Up for Next Week

August 10, 2009 – the last day of the weekend before non-stop deal with numbers and symbols again. This time, I’ll admit that I am grabbing the weekend close to me so that it will last longer than how it usually does. I feel a sort of uninspired and tired to go to school and fight my sleepy head and try to absorb everything that I need to learn so that I’ll be able to retrieve a thing during the exams. I admit, I am still losing my self here. I still have a little enthusiasm to get me through but I hope that that enthusiasm will leave me smiling after a storm of Math experience washed me out to the extent of my limits.

It’s exactly a week before I take a deadly exam in Math 109, which is a subject about proving and techniques in doing so. I call it deadly because I’ve seen how the professor gives an exam. She is mercy-less and more than challenging. Her quiz was something I didn’t expected and is hard enough to fit for an exam. The exams she does will really knock you off and will tell you what you don’t know. It’s also a good way to enforce humility and limitations. A week after that exam, Physics 71 will give me the thrill. Honestly, I am excited for this second long exam. Maybe because, I am studying Physics more now than how I did for the last months. I am seeing Physics now as something useful and not something which bores me a lot, though it still does at times. However, though I am seeing the little beauty of Physics, there is still the un-assurance of passing my second exam. I am still not confident enough although I am taking some time to study it. In that same week, it is Statistics 101’s turn too. My professor is cool but gives difficult and long exams, too, the kind which will give you the thrill of not finishing what you’re answering. He is also a fast teacher – the kind which needs fast-learners too in order to maximize learning.

Now, given the things that I will do for the next two weeks, I am finding it hard to look forward those. I am sitting comfortably on my chair now, faced with words, faced with photographs, listening to music, doing whatever I want and pressure-less. It’s difficult to step out of my comfort zone and be ready that failure may soon step in. Right now, I feel like a caterpillar that is afraid to undergo metamorphosis. Any courageous step might break my pieces all together.

Yet I have no choice for the world will continue spinning and the clock will continue ticking and later on, Mr. Moon will wave goodbye and it’s already Tuesday and classes are on. I only have to choose between being ready and playing on a fool’s paradise of make-believe that there aren’t any upcoming exams and everything will flow as I want them to be. Never let any fright master you, I should have known.

Good thing that my difficulties are a lot smaller than my God. Whatever it is that is happening, it is bound to make me more knowledgeable and eventually better. He won’t give something I cannot handle and besides, this is God’s battle between Math for I am fully dependent on his power and authority. I reside in Him and He resides in me. Nothing is too hard for Him, not a deadly Math 109 exams or a long Stat 101 exams or a confusing Physics 71 exams. Chicken. These exams are not even painful. It cannot hurt an ego.

Off I go tomorrow with the confidence that God will enlighten my mind and will prepare me for whatever that’s coming – even failure, for in every failure, we people grow. Goodbye, weekend! Until next week!

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