Sunday, September 20, 2009

Finally

Finally, I’ll be turning eighteen in about two weeks.

By the word 'finally', I am referring to the people who are already very excited while I was still eight. I was the first-born of the family, the first daughter and the first grandchild. There is no way you can blame these people for feeling so excited.

Now that I am almost two weeks from finally bidding my pediatrician goodbye, I realized that everything is not how I first saw the world.

Back to the days when I was still elementary, I thought that nothing is going to be hard except for daily quizzes and spelling every Wednesday. It was my only world and I guess, the only pressure I can tolerate at a very young age. When I was in high school, nothing is worse than Monday morning cramming when last night’s party was still in my head. Now that I am in college, Math exams are the worst. Especially when your professor is not the generous and passionate kind. There are still cramming. There are still daily quizzes which occasionally knocks me off but unlike elementary and high school, I am just a step away from bathing into the real world. Now, it feels like every exams count, like failing one would eventually imply that a company will reject me and won’t employ me in any way. I haven’t felt any pressure like that before. I guess, the pressure increases as the aging thing goes on.

Besides college, I struggle inside to the thought that I can now get a driver’s license, buy liquor and cigarettes on the restricted part of the grocery (not that I have plans), vote for government officials, work legally, and do the stuff that are only for eighteen years old and above. I really cannot wait to avail the privileges that are equipped with being eighteen.

Though, I am nervous.

I won’t have any valid reasons now for acting childishly when all the while, I still feel young inside, like I can tumble on the field and dance as I get up like I don’t care for anything else in the world. Poor young Rhaingel, she’s stuck in a body of an eighteen-year old! She doesn’t have any choice except to act her age.

Two weeks and I’ll still be me. Though maybe, I should consider growing up. In fact, I should start growing up because tonight I’m still a child but tomorrow, I’ll be some lost stranger in the real world. Scary but real and inevitable.

I guess I am also excited about turning eighteen but horrified to turn nineteen, especially twenty. Twenty sounds a serious thing already and though I am constantly preparing myself emotionally and mentally for that, I am still fifteen at heart, still loves blogging, still hates studying, still like ice cream and still believes in Santa Claus.

Aging. Maybe it won’t hurt at all. Maybe it isn’t a big leap after all that will be very remarkable, but I hope that the eighteen-experience will be great for the seventeen was utterly the best so far. Seventeen going eighteen… can’t help but be excited.

7 comments:

saul krisna said...

advance hapi bday

lucas said...

age is only a number. the maturity is what matters. but sometimes we mature so fast beyond our age that we forget the simple joys of youth. enjoy mo na!!! :)

Rhaingel said...

@SAUL KRISNA:
Salamat! :D

@LUCAS:
Thanks! I'm kissing my childhood goodbye na. :D

Catch said...

another world awaits when you turn 20-ish. probably at 25, you'll face a different world. i sure did. most people i know did. quarter life crisis sucks. it's like the final transition to adulthood. enjoy life now but be sure to pick up lessons from experiences along the way. it will be very handy soon. advance happy birthday...

Rhaingel said...

@CATCH:

wow. I think, I'll start preparing so as not to experience a sudden change. Thanks for all the advices. I'll surely listen to those and apply to my life. Thanks for dropping by :)

Catch said...

i admire your outlook in life... your enthusiasm for what the future beholds is so positive...

Rhaingel said...

@CATCH:
That outlook... I'll say, is a product of the past. Surely, everything I am now, and everything I am not is shaped by countless encounters of bliss and misery :)

drop by your blog later :)