Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Oh, So Right

It was when I was heading home thru an hour drive that I realized that the semester is officially over. Final exams are finally done and I have nothing to pass and nothing to worry about. It was when it started raining hard and the lightning struck when I thought that as soon as I step my foot on our home, I’ll be minding nothing but eating, playing and reading novels each day. Oh, so right… the feeling of an accomplished semester, the feeling of finally unburdening my shoulders and breathing light.

Aside from the fact that I am now in my second year in college, this semester differs in a way that this provided me with a satisfied feeling after. I’m not anymore bitter and regretful after almost six months of learning. I am happy and crossing my fingers that I did not fail a subject or two, but if in case I did, I see no point in sour-graping over something I thought was best.

This semester, I learned to fight the monster inside of me. I learned to trust myself at times and believe in what I can possibly do. I somehow learn to prioritize and try not to do things which can cause my regrets later on. I learned that feeling too inferior will result to nothing but negative results. This semester, I learned to give my best shot even at helpless situations with the undying hope for miracles and acknowledgement of efforts, to drain myself with man-made mortality because I am still a student and a student is supposed to study and give everything in her academics. A student is not supposed to be comfortable all the time. If that is the case, the price of being educated is not worth it, after all.

However, though I learned a lot in the first semester experience, the pressure feels like it was doubled, or even worse. Drowning myself from all the major subjects I was taking, there were times when I forget why I was doing it. Like, nothing has its reason and everything is senseless. Maybe it was the exhaustion that paralyzes even my optimism but whatever it is, it surely made me tempted to rest and stop pushing, to forget everything and just focus in sleeping. Cramming during Monday nights also seemed to be unbearable now. There were times when the pressure overwhelms my ego that it simply surrenders. Being in second year college is like crossing one fourth of the desert when your camel died. It’s very wasting to go back where you came but really difficult to reach the end of the desert. But like a wasteland, amidst the hopelessness and fatigue, somewhere lays an oasis which can give you the re-direction or the lift that you have been waiting forever. Thank you for the person who never gets tired of my tiredness and complaints. How he encourages me can be compared to a cool water enlivening the dead cells of a thirst body, and even more than that. If I am considering this semester a satisfying one, it is because I found my own brand of oasis and I got up to my feet again, convinced that five semesters to go and I’ll be what I want myself to be.

I call this thing, semester break, and so does everyone. After weeks of completing my sleeps again and finding the joy of slaking around, I’ll get back for the second semester, but that is still too far from now to look ahead and anticipate. Now, I am doing things which I can’t manage to do because of exams and graded recitations. Back to the blog-o-sphere, I guess. More words, less numbers :)

3 comments:

cyndirellaz said...

oh yah! sem break na! sa wakas pahinga ka muna, hehee! relax relax at byuti rest! enjoy these weeks and make the most of it!

The Me/ The Wife/ The Mom said...

Enjoy your vacationa and your time off!

You are a brillant writer.

Rhaingel said...

@CYNDIRELLAZ:
Nothing beats a sem break on the heart of a student. Haha! :D
Happy sem break to you too :)

@THE ME/THE WIFE/THE MOM:
Thanks! I will really try to enjoy this one and make the most our of this. Thanks for following STILL :)